Posts tagged: bad advice

Feel-Good Tips for the Unemployed

Has this ever happened to you?

You graduate with your advanced degree and step into the “real world” with high hopes for your career. Well, maybe not high hopes–you did major in the arts–but a moderate longing for success. You start strong, applying to all the jobs you can find, but one by one they pass you by, until you’re left at home feeling worthless, a lump with no hope of employment beyond the service-industry work you did before you were educated?

Well, pout no more, my friend. You might be down in the dumps, feeling a little blue, but follow my ten feel-good tips and you’ll be rid of the unemployment doldrums in no time.

This could be you!

  • Watch a lot of reality TV, especially shows where people are extremely stupid/in grave danger. You’ll feel so lucky not to be stuck in a swamp/a narcissist with eight kids/so stupid clothing labels pay you not to wear their clothing that you’ll feel better about yourself–just don’t think about the TV stars’ money.
  • Create Facebook pages for your pets, your neighbors’ pets, your alternate personalities. “Friend” them all and watch your Facebook value skyrocket.
  • Write a lot of blog posts, the more whiny/sarcastic the better. You’ve got to let out what’s inside you.
  • Cruise the internet for other posts to comment on, and really rile things up. Tell bloggers their favorite bands stink out loud, their ideals are ridiculous, their photos are lame. You’ll be surprised how much power you have to get under other people’s skin. And that’s what you need right now: power. Read more »

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