As far as sex and death go, I like what Thomas Lynch said in his interview with Willow Springs:

“I’ve said before, and I think it bears repeating, what Yeats said to Olivia Shakespeare—that the only subjects that should be compelling to a studious mind are sex and death. Those two, those are the bookends. And think of it, what else do we think of, what else is there besides that?”

I think there are more than two stories, but it does seem that many do arise from these two subjects.

Wouldn’t it be cool to have a cool rule named after you? I wonder which one you would choose.

At least once a week, give yourself a steam facial. Wash your face until it’s squeaky clean. Then fill your sink with hot water and suspend your lovely face over it, covering your head with a towel. The heat and steam will open up your pores so it’s easier to get the dead cells removed. Then–and this is not recommended, but screw it, I love it–use a Biore pore strip on your nose, forehead, chin, wherever you need it. Once the strip is dried, remove them and steam some more. Then you wash your face again. After that, you do the Special Combo Move #9: Rinse your face in the coldest water you can stand, then moisturize like a madwoman. It closes the pores and helps prevent ooky things from clogging them while also rejuvenating the skin.

And…that’s really it, in addition to washing your face morning and night, more moisturizer, and the occasional Biore pore strip. :) You won’t notice results right away, but after a few weeks there’ll be a noticeable difference. I had really bad skin back in high school and thought I needed, like. Uranium pills or something to help even it out, but no. Just regular pore-opening-cleaning-and-then-closing goodness.

Also, it’s kind of expensive, but my friend swears by the Clarisonic Mia (found here: http://www.clarisonic.com/shop/sonic_skin_cleansing_systems/sonic_skin_cleansing_system_mia/ and also cheaper on Amazon). After she used it for about four or five weeks, she doesn’t need to wear foundation anymore–that’s how clean, even-toned, and bright her skin is.

I am getting one of these as soon as humanly possible.

“Sometimes I put off real writing by writing a Bark post.”

That’s basically how this Bark post came to be. Connections. We has them.