Like many MFA students who are staying here for the summer, I’m going to need either a summer job or a large supply of gold teeth, and fast. So when a friend posted on Facebook about a zombie series filming in Spokane, I started thinking.
Sure, being a zombie extra wouldn’t be the steadiest job, but it’s chasing after people and moaning “BRRAAAIIINNNS” is probably less degrading than a typical day at a fast food restaurant (I worked in fast food for three weeks at age 18, and it did not end well). I also write creative nonfiction, and I’m always looking for new material. As a fellow student told me, “When you’re a writer, anything and everything is research.”
There’s no guarantee I’d get chosen once I register, of course. If all the people discussing The Walking Dead on my Facebook are any indication, zombie fever is running rampant. Still, here are a few reasons why I think me as a zombie just makes sense.
1) In high school, I played a stern East German nun and the ugliest girl in town, respectively. Appearing as a zombie with no lines in a series brought to us by the producers of Sharknado seems like the next logical step.
2) Give me a few milligrams of melatonin and call me at 7 a.m. the next day. You’ll be amazed at just how much I sound like a zombie in my inability to form complete words.
4) Want me to shuffle and lurch like a zombie? Put me in three-inch stilettos and watch my center of gravity vanish.
3) I don’t have an actor’s ego. In fact, after my triumphant turns as a nun and a hideous girl, I decided to major in theater as an 18-year-old undergraduate. It went poorly. My self-worth was so damaged that I decided to become an English major instead.