it’s march. which means brackets for everygoddamnthing. the tournament of books was a good bit of fun when it first launched in 2004 (and i think it still is). but now we’ve also got all this other shit: book madness, (harper collins canada) march madness, the piglet: the battle of the cookbooks, and the battle of the kids’ books. this is getting ridiculous. i love brackets as much as the next guy, but the problem with all these tournaments is that nobody dies in them. hell, the TOB even has a “zombie round” now where a “disqualified” book gets to make a comeback. wtf, man. what we need here is a little more death in our literary competitions, not resuscitation.
in that vein, i suggest we start a competition that’s more like fight club. two books enter, one book leaves—fucking thunderdome-style. there’s too many shitty books out there anyway. if we do it my way, there’ll be fewer books to read (because once you’re dead, you stay outta print, motherfucker), and the books that remain will inevitably be higher quality. everybody wins. i’ll even help get this started. let’s do this.