Things to include in next story to make it REAL FICTION:
1. At least one character smoking cigarettes
2. Some form of weed
3. Possibly recreational drug use
4. Main character having massive amounts of sex
7.5. Egg parties
7.5.1. wtf are egg parties?
9. Dramatic scene that takes place in the rain
10. Drastic hair cut as catalyst for sex scene
11. Random fellatio
12. More sex
13. More cigarettes
14. Other forms of terminal illness
15. Disgruntled old neighbor man
16. Aliens (and other forms of interspecies relationships)
18. Week-old pizza
19. Characters only allowed to drink coffee
20. Various naked people
22. Parties with Snoop Dogg
24. Beautiful people a la Mike Pankratz
Preheat computer to 95 degrees. Throw ingredients onto Word doc; stir well. Makes 1 – 1.5 stories.
Disclaimer / Resolution: I will actually make a story like this one day. It will be genius.