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Dating & Mating

Amore? More like few things are a’more awkward than trying to meet someone, amiright?

 

These dating tips are very real. They can be found in this article.
But then someone anonymous, a friend of a friend, a girl who is very experienced and not at all intimidated by men and/or making eye contact, elaborated a bit:

1) Act confident and he will say yes to a date — guaranteed! 
Guaranteed? Hot diggity! Roll those shoulders back, tilt your chin to the glowing summer sun, and do your best Julia Roberts laugh. If you need inspiration, refer to Elizabeth Lemon

2) For example, at the DMV, make a comment about the long lines and from there, start up a conversation. Ask him what he is there for. If he is renewing his license, make a comment about how cute he looks in his picture.
You: “Oh wow, you look cute in your picture!” 

Him: “I accidentally sneezed while they took it.” 
You: “I like the woke-up-in-a-dumpster look. It’s very…..Johnny Depp?”

3) Airplanes are another great place to make conversation, especially if you have a long flight ahead of you. You can ask questions about where he is going and why. Maybe even give some tips if you are familiar with the area! What do you have to lose?
Who doesn’t love a chatty seat-neighbor on an 8 hour transcontinental flight? I’ve compiled some sample questions for your future flying pleasure:
Why are you visiting London? Where are you staying? How long are you staying there? What address? I know a great restaurant around the corner from there, want to grab dinner? Tomorrow? No? How about Thursday? I am free for breakfast. Or lunch. Or dinner. What is your cologne? You don’t know? The closer I lean into your neck the more it smeelllss liiikkee…sandalwood! Why are you trying to strangle yourself with your tie?

4) Another place that is great to meet men is the men’s department in department stores. 
I tried this once. It’s best not to hold a limp coat sleeve in your hand, “inspecting” the fabric, while actually staring incessantly at the cute guy scoping t-shirts. 

5) Last but not least, it can be great to meet men on the street. There are always men walking around just waiting to be asked for the best restaurant in town. . . If you see a great looking guy on the street, even if you are not lost, why not ask him for directions anyway? You literally have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  
Tuesday, 5pm, a random downtown street: “Hey hi, yeah you, hi there, uhm I was wondering if you knew where HEY! HEY COME BACK! That dude stole my purse! The internet said I had literally nothing to lose!!”

6) It is also important when talking to men at these places to take a quick glance at his left hand to see if he is married. 
We are so lucky there is a fool-proof way to determine if someone is married.
Ring = Not available
No Ring = Available 
Phew. Thank God that’s been cleared up for me. 

 

7 Responses to “Dating & Mating”

  1. Fitz says:

    Hahaha ok, a few things:
    This – “There are always men walking around just waiting to be asked for the best restaurant in town” – is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
    And this!: “If you see a great looking guy on the street, even if you are not lost, why not ask him for directions anyway?” Why should I have to act dumb to snag a guy and ask him questions I already know the answer to, like if he’s a hot dog vendor at a baseball game and I ask him– oh. Ok, point taken.

    Also, the ring thing is stupid, because men don’t generally wear engagment rings. So that’s all kinds of misleading.

    • Fitz says:

      Which is just another way to say: another A+ post, dude.

    • leyna krow says:

      It’s true; rings (or lack thereof) don’t tell the whole story. Which is why, to avoid confusion, I’ve had the word “Taken” tattooed across Scott’s forehead. Can’t be much clearer than that, eh? eh? I think it’s a good look for him.

      • Cathie Smathie says:

        Hahahaha Fitz, it took me a second to see that connection, but when it clicked I was laughing so hard. I once asked a cute guy at a coffee shop for the wifi code even though I was already logged in.
        And Leyna, I knew Scott looked different last time I saw him…butI thought it was the dikdik shirt.

  2. Shira Richman says:

    I should read your posts every morning and start each day laughing.

  3. Shira Richman says:

    Oh, I met my guy when I auditioned for his band. I didn’t make the band cut, but I made the girlfriend cut. I highly recommend band auditions as another sure-fire way to snag a man.

    • Cathie Smathie says:

      Nice! Auditioning for a band? That sounds like my worst nightmare..unless of course it was a marching band and it was high school and I had a crush on the entire drumline. Wait.

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