Need Someone to Support Your Writing Habit?

In the CNBC guest blog, professional matchmaker Samantha Daniels provides some wonderful unintentional comedy in her post, “How to Date a Wall-Street Man.” Here’s a cliffnotes version: lose all self-respect and accept you’ll be treated like shit.  But if you want some specifics, here are a few choice passages that stuck out.

Tell stories that are short and sweet because the mind of a Wall Street man is always moving so rapidly and focusing on so many different things that his attention span for social stories is very short; don’t be insulted by this, just tell your stories in a way that he can listen. Save your long, draw-out stories for chit-chatting with your girlfriends.

His mind has adapted in a way that is able to make a lot of money, but with the attention-span of a dead flea.  Focus on the fact he is making a lot of money.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys on Wall Street have a hard time leaving work at the office; it’s your job to get his mind on you and off the S & P.

It pretty much impossible for a man to work hard all day and also be expected to make conversation on a date.

Be sexy. Wall Street men tend to like women who are attractive and that other men notice when they walk in the room. This does not mean that you should look sleazy or inappropriate…

Be hot enough that other men check you out, but don’t dress like a slut.  How hard is that?

6. Don’t get upset if he checks his BlackBerry or takes a call during a date; this is very common of a Wall Street man and has nothing to do with whether or not he likes you.

His job is, in fact, more important than you.  Remember, he’s making a lot of money.  A lot.

Men, by nature are never as romantic as women want them to be, but Wall Street men especially are very business-like and think practically not romantically.

Six-figure bonuses can buy a lot of flowers.

…many Wall Street men are so reliant on their assistants that they prefer to have you on their schedule just like a business meeting.

I’m not sure I can mock this any better then Daniels does herself: “Do not take offense to this; this does not mean that he likes you all the less, it just means that he likes to be organized and efficient and his assistant helps him accomplish this.”

To be fair to Daniels, I’m sure this is mostly accurate and helpful to women who want to land a Wall Street man. I look forward to learning how to land a Wall Street woman.

I found this through The Dish by way of Bhaskar Sunkara.

 

 

6 Comments

  • Sam Ligon Sam Ligon says:

    Wow! It’s weird too, because I thought Wall Street men liked women who were not only unattractive, but completely repulsive. But maybe not. Also, I know it is true that Wall Street men can’t focus on “social stories.” And that’s because they’re so smart, they’re minds burdened with super important thoughts. Any long “draw out” stories should either be saved for your girlfriends or anyone else who gives a shit about what you have to say. It’s not because you’re attractive that he doesn’t want to listen to you, it’s because he can’t imagine anyone having anything worth saying except himself. That’s why he’s checking his BlackBerry and taking calls while you talk. You have value — just not here, not now.

  • Cathie Smathie says:

    whaaaaaat the shit? “They prefer to have you on their schedule just like a business meeting.” What.the.shit.

  • Ericka Taylor says:

    Awesome! I can’t wait for her How To Date A Sociopath post.

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