Earlier this morning (june 23) I was sitting in the Spokane airport sipping my tall chai soy latte and reading Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Saffran Foer. Life was good, I was headed home to Carolina.
And then a two hour layover turned into a four hour delay and I missed the last flight to Charlotte. When I reached my gate, I could tell the ticket agent was waiting to see how I would react to the news that I would be spending the night in Minneapolis. But after traveling all day, I’d seen human nature at its best and worst. Since we’re stereotyping on Bark, I thought I’d take a crack at it:
The New Yorker/the Power Suit – These people are stompers. They have places to go. They don’t stand on the conveyor belt, they charge past, knocking you with their suitcases. When you get to your gate and find them waiting there, you might wonder what the rush was.
The Vacationers – Picture a man in shorts he wore on his last vacation, ten years ago. His wife is wearing a flowing, flowery caftan type outfit with nude sandals.
The Wannabe Jetsetter- Her bag is Coach, as is her seat on the plane.
Technologic- Cell phone, laptop, e-reader, mp3 player, headphones in, these guys don’t need a companion.
T.M.I – I overheard a conversation while standing in line to board my flight with over twenty f-bombs and enough venom to make everyone around lean away. It ended with a surprising, “I love you.”
Birth Control – Bobby had a cookie for breakfast. Bobby is bored. Bobby is screaming and knocking into strangers as his parents negotiate with him. Bobby is four years old and needs to be clotheslined and if you’re like “that’s abuse”, suck my finger.
Comrades-in-arms – the person or people who happen to be on every flight with you, who makes eye-contact when the flying wombat that is someone’s child knocks over the Technologic’s laptop, and who smiles sympathetically when you’re seated next to TMI. It’s good to have an ally.
So those are my favorite people in the airport or rather my top favorites but since I am writing this on my Blackberry and I’ll be up at four for my next flight, I’ll ask you to help me finish the list of the airport’s best characters.