Laughing in the Dark
I Bet It's Not As Scary As It May Seem
Raymond Carver liked to get a draft of a story down in one go, “I write the first draft of a story as quickly as possible, preferably at one sitting. Then I revise it, and revise it yet again” (Conversations with Raymond Carver 80). Janet Burroway agrees this is a good method because, “you are more likely to produce a coherent draft when you come to the desk in a single frame of mind with a single vision of the whole than when you write piecemeal, having altered ideas and moods” and “fast writing tends to make for fast pace in the story” (Writing Fiction 16).
I am not a fan of being required to write a complete first draft in one day or even two, let alone one sitting. It was during a writing binge last week (for a deadline for my writing group) that I was so miserable I began seriously questioning why I even bother (see all the negative comments I left on blogs last week for evidence to support this claim).
I asked my mom on the phone why humans bother exerting so much time, energy, and thought to write stories that no one wants to read or publish anyway. She told me that even if one person gains insight from something another person wrote then it’s worth it. I liked that idea. She also said the self expression that occurs through writing must be useful to the writer in some way. I insisted that what I’m doing is far more complex than self-expression.
The next day when I resumed writing, I discovered that my mom was right. I was writing a story about a woman who obsesses over the strange comments she gets from her students on her teaching evaluations. On my most recent set of evaluations, about half of the students in one of my classes wrote that I should “Bring Cookies.” When I first read the comments about a month ago, I was angry and offended. While I was writing my ridiculous story, I reread the evaluations and saw them differently. I realized that the students were most likely being funny.
The way I imagine the scenario now is: someone says aloud how cookies would have made the class better and then all the other 18-year-old, hungry boys at 9:00 am decide that is a more fun suggestion than trying to think of something serious.
Whether or not I write fiction with the intention of exploring or expressing my own anxieties or concerns, these things do occur. And the process makes me feel better.
Additionally, later that same epiphanic day, I heard a comedian interviewed on Fresh Air. Terry Gross was asking Louis C.K. why he includes certain offensive portions of his comedy routines and he said he finds it important to bring readers into dark places and get them to laugh there. He said this process could help us cope with darkness better in real life, help us to be less debilitated by it once we have spent some good times there already.
My current goal, in addition to venturing into the darkness, is to write in regular bits so I don’t have to write whole days at a time. They seem to bring me much too much of something I try to think I want.
I definitely write piecemeal. Sometimes as little as a couple of sentences, even. I don’t even know if I could write a piece in one sitting, because usually I have to do a free write to discover what my piece is about (I have a problem with focus)before I can begin. And, I love Louis C.K., and I agree about bringing the readers into dark places to get them to lighten up. I think I try to do that, too, though not always on purpose, and sometimes it’s me trying to get myself to lighten up.
I’m so glad to hear that piecemeal works! Having come from poetry, where one can easily get a draft down in one sitting, I’ve been trying to do the same with fiction. Having that expectation, though, means I write less often and I feel like I’m out of practice each time I sit down for a marathon session. I like Louis C.K., too–as of last week!
It seems every creative process is unique! I find that sometimes when I decide I’m going to work on a painting all day I find myself entering a dutiful, non-productive mode. But there is a time and place for the marathon exhilarating level of exertion.
You’re right. A whole day that one gets to spend doing something creative–painting, writing, playing music–is a luxury and sometimes the best work can be done in these sprawling stretches of time. I just want to have other models for working, too, to have more regular engagement with writing.
For some reason it is a relief to hear about other writers going into those dark places, and it is indeed “epiphanic” (great word choice!) to consider laughing in them. I will try that the next time I’m plagued by serious self-doubt. Since I’m sitting down to write now, that should be any moment. . .Great post!
I hope your writing is filling you with BRIGHTNESS and JOY! I look forward to seeing you tomorrow to discuss the story that caused me so much misery. And epiphany.
Great blog post and great point from Louis C.K. I love it!
If only I weren’t so lazy, I would have re-listened to the interview and gotten Louis C.K.’s exact quotes. It was a very fun interview the first time through and I’m sure I’d get even more from it if I listened to it again.
I couldn’t write a draft in one sitting if I tried. Or not one that wasn’t pretty useless. So much of what I eventually include in the story comes as I peck away at it, going back to the start and combing through it until I get to the point where I last left off, and then jumping ahead a bit.
I also like the approach of writing in small bursts regularly, and then thinking a lot about it in between. This has been my pattern for so long that when I have more time to write, I can’t quite fill it. I run out of imaginative steam prematurely.
That’s good to hear, Shawn. If it works for you, it’s worth trying. I remember Sam writing somewhere recently that he has taken to writing in more concentrated bouts, too. I’m going to try it, with longer stretches interspersed.
I wonder what you’re writing these days…
trying a novel. struggling to get that boat moving…
The one you wrote? Now you’re revising it?
I listened to that interview with Louis C.K. too and loved it. I liked how he talked about trying not to be offensive and researching the details about what he says to make sure he knew who would be offended and why, and then deciding to use the offensive material anyway.
Ps. Can I call your mom when I’m in the dark place? She seems to have very good answers.
Yes! I’ve already told my mom all about you and how much I adore you. I’m sure she’d love to get the chance to talk to you!
I’d love to hear about your dark place. Dark places are filled with such richness once we find a way to bring a light into them.
See how wise my mom is!
I meant to ask this before: Is the headline an indirect reference to Laughter in the Dark by any chance? I’m always looking for Nabokov, in everything
Sorry, I wasn’t aware that Nabokov was present. I love that he’s here, just not that I am so ignorant.