anatomy of a book purchase
immediateinternetwhizbangdigitalondemandnownownow. i think it’s safe to say that modern life frequently compels us to do/interact/consume more than reflect/consider/take stock. not to say that we all need to run off to the woods, but i know that at least i could stand to stop and ponder the ramifications of my decisions a little more frequently. and, i gotta tell you, when i did so this past week, i was somewhat baffled by my own behavior.
this all centered on my self-analysis in trying to acquire a book as a gift for a friend who graduated, and the lengths i went to in order to basically ensure that no one in any way responsible for the creation of said book actually received a single cent from me. i think some of my idiocy can be forgiven for being a poor grad student, and for the fact that the particular author i sought out is dead. but i think those are kind of just excuses. for i’ve never been reluctant to proclaim myopic books as my favorite shop, even when gainfully employed. myopic, where you could spend hours, or years, and never stumble across a new/not-used copy of a book (p.s. there’s a small selection at knee level by the register).
it started in portland, in the city of books, where i was actually disappointed that i had to buy new copies of all the other books i purchased as graduation gifts. for whatever reason, the one book i refused to buy new there was “infinite jest,” figuring i could easily get a used copy of it elsewhere. but i had no luck at the other portland bookshop i went to. so i ventured online, to my old friend half.com. i found a copy (of this 1,079 page monster) for $6.28. boo yah.
fast forward three weeks (the minimum time allowed to lodge a complaint, or even inquire about the status of a purchase on half.com), when i discover the book is no longer available from that seller. which, maybe, i could have seen coming, given that the purveyor had literally no rating as a seller. did i then do my duty as a responsible online shopper and give the miserable bastard a negative review? so as to discourage future online shoppers from this same mistake? or even appeal to half’.com to alter their unusually long inquiry policy? nope. just then went to myopic to see if i could get a used copy there. and… no luck.
at this point, you’d think i’ve give the fuck up already and just pay the entirely reasonable $17.99 for a new copy of this behemoth book. did i mention it’s 1,079 pages? but i tell you that i did not. instead i went back to half.com to try to find another seller. and, of course, there was another one, this one offering the book for $9. so i bought it. but it remains to be seen whether this purchase actually becomes, you know, a purchase.
i can argue that i didn’t need some actual/live/in-person bookseller to acquire this book, because i knew what i wanted. i can argue the author wouldn’t receive royalties had i bought new because he’d killed himself years ago. but, in retrospect, this doesn’t really seem like aberrant behavior from me, regardless of what book i’m looking for. if i’d relented & gone to another bookstore, i probably would have also stumbled across some other book that i just had to have (and thus supported some other, newer, not-dead writer)—because the magic of discovery is why we still go to shops, right? and is it not fair to say that the publisher/editor of “infinite jest” deserve royalties, too, for having dared to print such an improbable book? and yet! look at all the stupid shit i did in order to save like eight bucks.
i’d be terribly sad if used bookstores went away, especially myopic (because the workers there have been more engaging to customers than anywhere else i have ever, ever gone). but as an aspiring writer, my book-purchasing habits seem self-destructive at best. and i can’t even blame it on amazon. at least, not yet—not without some seriously convoluted logic. in the meantime, if you have an idea what the hell exactly is wrong with me, please do let me know. you can find me wherever there’s a books-for-a-buck stand.
As long as your energy usage during your online browsing didn’t exceed the climate cost of printing another copy of the book, you could always blame your behavior on wanting to be “green.” :-)
Plus you make a great character for a story. For your story that I just enjoyed reading so much. Our behavior can be so mystifying and sensical at the same time.