My tenure at Willow Springs will be up in June, when issue 66 hits the stands, and then I’ll have to pass the reins to my awesome assistant and find a new job. So, I’ve been looking into opportunities that involve writing. Going across different media involves various challenges. For example, how does one write for news? We all know that you keep it in iambic pentameter, and use human interest stories to get the viewer’s attention. I’ve been looking at structure lately, and found a couple excellent examples:

Of course, my fifth grade teacher always said, “You’ve got to answer the five W’s.” Where is the bullshit and who’s dealing with it? When the bullshit happen? Is the bullshit actually breaking news? Keep it current. Why is the bullshit happening and how are we dealing with the bullshit? What do authorities think of the bullshit?

That all sounds simple enough. And remember to write the bullshit in the old inverted pyramid: start with the most important facts about the bullshit and expand from there. Keep the bullshit objective. Don’t get flowery when talking about bullshit. Give your bullshit an angle.

If you’re writing bullshit for the television, images are super important. And yes, there’s a formula for selecting and filling in the video: